OK, I declare Dec 14 through Dec 20 2008 the week from hell for my family.
Late Saturday night (about 10 PM) I took my wife into the emergency room, and shortly after midnight on the 14th we found out she was having a miscarriage (we didn't know she was pregnant until that night but had 20 minutes between when we were told she was pregnant and when we were told the baby was in trouble.)
On Wednesday my brother had a second surgery for thyroid cancer. All went well but those two items themselves were quite a bit to take.
Then on Friday, while at work I got a call first from my father saying that they didn't get the right lymph nods in Adam and they would have to be going in again on Saturday. about 20 minutes later I got a call from Heather and was told that there were some complications and that if her hormone levels weren't where the doctors wanted to see them she would be going into surgery that night. About 4 hours later we found out Heather wouldn't have to have surgery, but Adam would definitely need it. Then when I got home from work I was told by my father that his brother had commit ed suicide that morning by over-dosing on pills.
Everyone is doing well from their various medical issues, Adam is recovering well from 2 surgeries within 4 days, and Heather and I are still getting over the shock and pain of the miscarriage but this isn't a week I'd want to relive for anything in the world.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
To the Child I never knew
This is written on Sunday Dec 14, but will be delayed posting until Heather gives the OK due to reasons that will become obvious in the reading.
I got to bed at 5:45 am this morning. We just got back from the ER where within a 20 minute stretch we found out that Heather was pregnant, and that she was in the middle of a miscarriage.
We've been trying for a second child for about a year and a half now, so this was a major blow to both Heather and I. I doubt we've fully processed it.
The hardest thing about the whole experience was in the ER the doctors kept referring to the collection as "tissue" that wasn't tissue, that was my child. I'll never know him or her, I didn't know they existed until they were in trouble.
That's hard for me as well. I'm very traditional in that I feel it's my job above all others to protect my family, and there was nothing I could do. I know logically there was something massively wrong with the child and that's why this happened, but in my heart I failed to protect my child, and my wife from the pain associated with this ordeal.
I barely knew this child, and now I never will, and that saddens me to the core.
I got to bed at 5:45 am this morning. We just got back from the ER where within a 20 minute stretch we found out that Heather was pregnant, and that she was in the middle of a miscarriage.
We've been trying for a second child for about a year and a half now, so this was a major blow to both Heather and I. I doubt we've fully processed it.
The hardest thing about the whole experience was in the ER the doctors kept referring to the collection as "tissue" that wasn't tissue, that was my child. I'll never know him or her, I didn't know they existed until they were in trouble.
That's hard for me as well. I'm very traditional in that I feel it's my job above all others to protect my family, and there was nothing I could do. I know logically there was something massively wrong with the child and that's why this happened, but in my heart I failed to protect my child, and my wife from the pain associated with this ordeal.
I barely knew this child, and now I never will, and that saddens me to the core.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Why I use Linux
I'm a geek, I readily admit this. I love all things geeky: comic books, video games, sci-fi, and of course computers.
I enjoy almost all aspects of computers; building hardware, troubleshooting problems, giving people advice, working on them, playing games. However, I don't like Windows. Windows is how I make my living; removing virii, repairing BSOD's, and in general fixing the headaches that Windows causes.
I use Linux because I don't understand why people use an operating system that to operate safely requires you to buy an anti-virus, if it's needed shouldn't it be included? If you bought a car would it be acceptable for them to require you to buy the seatbelts seperate, and then you had to pay every year for a new subscription to the belts?
I use Linux because it's Open Source, so instead of the programmers of one company fixing bugs 7 years after it's first reported Linux bugs are able to be fixed by anyone in the world and generally are patched within hours of them being found.
I use Linux because there is no entry fee to play. Linux can be downloaded for free from a number of places. Ubuntu, OpenSuse, Fedora. In many cases you can actually download the .ISO file and burn it to a CD and start your computer to run from the CD to test Linux without making any changes to your currently installed system. Linux is easy enough for beginners, and robust enough that geeks can delve deep into the guts, get their hands dirty and they system comes back for me.
I enjoy almost all aspects of computers; building hardware, troubleshooting problems, giving people advice, working on them, playing games. However, I don't like Windows. Windows is how I make my living; removing virii, repairing BSOD's, and in general fixing the headaches that Windows causes.
I use Linux because I don't understand why people use an operating system that to operate safely requires you to buy an anti-virus, if it's needed shouldn't it be included? If you bought a car would it be acceptable for them to require you to buy the seatbelts seperate, and then you had to pay every year for a new subscription to the belts?
I use Linux because it's Open Source, so instead of the programmers of one company fixing bugs 7 years after it's first reported Linux bugs are able to be fixed by anyone in the world and generally are patched within hours of them being found.
I use Linux because there is no entry fee to play. Linux can be downloaded for free from a number of places. Ubuntu, OpenSuse, Fedora. In many cases you can actually download the .ISO file and burn it to a CD and start your computer to run from the CD to test Linux without making any changes to your currently installed system. Linux is easy enough for beginners, and robust enough that geeks can delve deep into the guts, get their hands dirty and they system comes back for me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Open Letter
This is an open letter to all retailers, merchants, and others who would like to separate me from my money this Christmas season.
If your employees tell me “Happy Holidays” after I wish them a Merry Christmas (and therefore state that this is the holiday that I celebrate) I am not buying a single thing from you.
I am not a religious zealot, in fact I only go to church because it's important to my wife. I'm at best an agnostic and at worst an atheist (it changes almost daily.) However, I was raised a Catholic and my family celebrates Christmas. I'm not asking the clerks and employee's address wish me the Merry Christmas first, I know this day and age that's too much to ask, but if I say Merry Christmas this should give them freedom from corporate policy to wish me the same in turn.
By the same token, if your employee's are free from this idiotic policy of not acknowledging exactly what holiday they wish to make happy for me, I will not take offense if they wish me a Happy Chanukah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Magic Snowflake Day.
If your employees tell me “Happy Holidays” after I wish them a Merry Christmas (and therefore state that this is the holiday that I celebrate) I am not buying a single thing from you.
I am not a religious zealot, in fact I only go to church because it's important to my wife. I'm at best an agnostic and at worst an atheist (it changes almost daily.) However, I was raised a Catholic and my family celebrates Christmas. I'm not asking the clerks and employee's address wish me the Merry Christmas first, I know this day and age that's too much to ask, but if I say Merry Christmas this should give them freedom from corporate policy to wish me the same in turn.
By the same token, if your employee's are free from this idiotic policy of not acknowledging exactly what holiday they wish to make happy for me, I will not take offense if they wish me a Happy Chanukah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa or Magic Snowflake Day.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Stress outlets
I don't deal with anger and stress well. I get that from my father who has fought his whole life with stress and anger issues.
Over the years I've had numerous outlets to help me focus this raw energy from the stress into outlets other than anger. I feel I've wrestled the monster down quite well, and most people who didn't know me 15+ years ago don't know that I wrestle this particular demon on a daily basis and just below the surface it's constantly waiting, even today for a chink in my armor.
In late elementary school and early middle school my buddy and I used to bike to each others houses, or to the mall (which was ~10 miles) and play video games such as Super Mario Brothers, Mortal Kombat, and Street Fighter.
In late middle school and early High School I did karate, tried to rodeo and played video games such as Duke Nukem 3d, Doom (1 and 2,) and Rise of the Triad
In late High School I did a number of plays, worked a physical job (grocery store,) chased a girl who's now my wife, and played Command and Conquer, Red Alert, and Warcraft.
And so on, and so on, as you can see there's always been a physical element and video games. Until now, I still have physical things, such as playing with Alex, house work, and the charity I'm struggling to get off the ground.
The problem is the video game side of things. There's a couple of problems on the game front actually. First is time, I have a family and feel guilty going downstairs to play while they are home and awake, even if Heather tells me it's ok. Second is me, you see I use Linux on my computer rather than Windows because I don't like what Microsoft stands for. However most games are made for Windows, and while they will run with some hacking in Linux, I feel guilty buying something that doesn't work natively on Linux and thus in-directly supporting Windows. There are a few game makers who make their games directly for Linux, but they tend to be of a genre that I don't care for, such as First-Person Shooters.
I have noticed that my stress level is higher since my gaming has decressed but I'm not sure exactly how to correct this problem, but I'm hoping that either game companies will soon embrace Linux or I'll find another outlet for stress to deal with my agression. Suggestions of either Linux-friendly games or alternate directions are always welcome in the comments.
Over the years I've had numerous outlets to help me focus this raw energy from the stress into outlets other than anger. I feel I've wrestled the monster down quite well, and most people who didn't know me 15+ years ago don't know that I wrestle this particular demon on a daily basis and just below the surface it's constantly waiting, even today for a chink in my armor.
In late elementary school and early middle school my buddy and I used to bike to each others houses, or to the mall (which was ~10 miles) and play video games such as Super Mario Brothers, Mortal Kombat, and Street Fighter.
In late middle school and early High School I did karate, tried to rodeo and played video games such as Duke Nukem 3d, Doom (1 and 2,) and Rise of the Triad
In late High School I did a number of plays, worked a physical job (grocery store,) chased a girl who's now my wife, and played Command and Conquer, Red Alert, and Warcraft.
And so on, and so on, as you can see there's always been a physical element and video games. Until now, I still have physical things, such as playing with Alex, house work, and the charity I'm struggling to get off the ground.
The problem is the video game side of things. There's a couple of problems on the game front actually. First is time, I have a family and feel guilty going downstairs to play while they are home and awake, even if Heather tells me it's ok. Second is me, you see I use Linux on my computer rather than Windows because I don't like what Microsoft stands for. However most games are made for Windows, and while they will run with some hacking in Linux, I feel guilty buying something that doesn't work natively on Linux and thus in-directly supporting Windows. There are a few game makers who make their games directly for Linux, but they tend to be of a genre that I don't care for, such as First-Person Shooters.
I have noticed that my stress level is higher since my gaming has decressed but I'm not sure exactly how to correct this problem, but I'm hoping that either game companies will soon embrace Linux or I'll find another outlet for stress to deal with my agression. Suggestions of either Linux-friendly games or alternate directions are always welcome in the comments.
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