This week, due to a family emergency I became a temporary single parent on short notice. My wife's aunt is in the hospital after suffering a stroke and she drove down to Iowa City within 15 minutes of when I got home from work on Monday. Now I've had Heather gone a few times in the past when she's gone out of town for a girl's weekend and such, but I always knew it was coming, she had pre-cooked meals so I had leftovers and generally was prepared. This has to my recollection always been on the weekend as well, so I never had to worry about getting my son ready for school, getting to work, picking him up and so forth.
It's only been 2 nights and 2 days but I have a new level of respect for single parents. I've had a lot of help even these 2 days. My Mother-in-Law has been getting Alex off the bus and watching him until I can pick him up (although there was a snag today because she was running late, but a neighbor helped out.) My son has also had supper at her house so even though I've mentally figured out what we were going to have, I haven't actually had to cook anything.
I've always known my wife does a lot around the house, but I've been trying to keep it clean so that when she gets home she doesn't have to worry about that too. She does more than I ever know, and I know that even the best I do won't be half as good as she normally does. If I were a single parent my son and I would live in a much smaller place simply so there's less to clean.
I've always had respect for single parents who do it easy. One of my Sisters-in-Law has become my go-to example of this. She has raised a lovely daughter while willingly putting her social life on the back burner so that she could focus on being a parent first. I've always silently admired how effortless she makes it look but after these past few days I needed to let her, and all the single parents out there know that they are appreciated.
My wife will likely be back tomorrow, and we'll go back to our normal routine and I'll get a break. Single parents don't get that break nearly as often as a two parent home obviously, but hopefully they know that they have the most important job in the world in shaping that young person and that their sacrifices are noticed by others.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Occupy Everywhere
NOTE: If you're reading this post on Facebook, it is copied automatically from my blog at Down The Digital Trail some things I'd censor more on Facebook may be said less diplomatically because my blog is where I vent.
For those that follow me on Facebook, Google+ or Twitter. You'll no doubt know that I strongly support the Occupy protests. Recently someone on Twitter who was from England said he didn't think that the general public was well informed on what the Occupation was about. I proceeded to send a set of tweets that he said was fairly good and suggested I make them more widely available. I'm going to include those now. You obviously could go back in my twitter stream and find out who this individual is, but since I didn't ask his permission I'm not listing his name.
His initial tweet: @CyberCowboy it's sad that the general public (including me) are mostly confused by the #OWS message. Above all else, we need clarification.
My response: #OWS means different things to different people. To me it's about breaking the hold the rich have on this country. I love capitalism in it's true form, we now have a plutocracy though. it's virtually impossible for the lower or lower-middle class to rise beyond that area unlike in the past. think of #OWS as a coming together of multiple protests, that's one of their strengths and weaknesses.
He then asked me: a good summary... So basically... bank / financial system injustice?
Response: primarily, along with corporate influence on the political arena.
That was multiple tweets and I didn't think very well done since Twitter limits you to 140 characters per tweet. I'm going to try to elaborate my feelings on the subject here.
As I've said, #OWS means different things to different people. My support for them primarily comes from moving the power from a few individuals with money back to the people. I'm not against individuals having money, or even influence. I am opposed to those individuals having power to get laws like the Patriot Act, ACTA, ProtectIP (now E-PARASITES), Homeland Security, TSA, and other laws and organizations that destroy civil liberties passed because they can buy influence for their desires even when it's in contradiction to the general public's.
As I said in my tweet, I love capitalism in it's true form, however I think we're quickly moving into a plutocracy where cronyism has the same circle of friends and family keeping the money. The fact that when institutions are called "too big to fail" and require a bailout from Americans can then go and reposes the homes and property of those who bailed them out, something is wrong.
We all used to grow together, now the divide is quite obvious. Click to enlarge
I'm not sure exactly what the solution is. I don't want a "Robinhood tax" where money is taken from the top and given to the bottom because then that will increase the sense of entitlement. I'd prefer the 1% as they're called themselves realize they are the fortunate few and create basically a private version of the CCC camps that existed during the great depression, only to fix the infrastructure that is failing (if they won't step up I guess they would have to be taxed to fund these.) This would solve the unemployment, failing infrastructure and get money flowing all at once. As much as I prefer little government that stays out of the way, I think we need more regulations on how much CEO's can make (including stock options, bonus' and any other benefits) and what can be done by companies (since we can't put them in jail if they do wrong, they can't be punished like a person, so they shouldn't get the benefits of a person, no more political contributions by companies either.)
I also don't think ANYONE in this country should go without paying taxes, because then they have nothing invested in making the country better, again the sense of entitlement becomes too strong. Along the same lines I don't think just because you are doing well you should pay a higher tax, it is your money. If I were given my way I'd abolish all income tax and have a sales tax on non-essential (HEALTHY) goods. Food would be taxed on a sliding scale with healthier foods low or no tax where as pop and chips taxed at the same rate as say a car. This sales tax would encourage more frugal living and hopefully make people think before they take on additional debt.
This post got more into trying to fix the problems than I really wanted, but I'm going to put it up. I'm a firm believer in don't point out problems unless you have solutions, these are mine for the problems as I see them. I have a good job, a home, and while I don't live extravagantly, I think my family is comfortable. I'm not support #OWS for myself, but for my son that the country will still be great when he is my age.
For those that follow me on Facebook, Google+ or Twitter. You'll no doubt know that I strongly support the Occupy protests. Recently someone on Twitter who was from England said he didn't think that the general public was well informed on what the Occupation was about. I proceeded to send a set of tweets that he said was fairly good and suggested I make them more widely available. I'm going to include those now. You obviously could go back in my twitter stream and find out who this individual is, but since I didn't ask his permission I'm not listing his name.
His initial tweet: @CyberCowboy it's sad that the general public (including me) are mostly confused by the #OWS message. Above all else, we need clarification.
My response: #OWS means different things to different people. To me it's about breaking the hold the rich have on this country. I love capitalism in it's true form, we now have a plutocracy though. it's virtually impossible for the lower or lower-middle class to rise beyond that area unlike in the past. think of #OWS as a coming together of multiple protests, that's one of their strengths and weaknesses.
He then asked me: a good summary... So basically... bank / financial system injustice?
Response: primarily, along with corporate influence on the political arena.
That was multiple tweets and I didn't think very well done since Twitter limits you to 140 characters per tweet. I'm going to try to elaborate my feelings on the subject here.
As I've said, #OWS means different things to different people. My support for them primarily comes from moving the power from a few individuals with money back to the people. I'm not against individuals having money, or even influence. I am opposed to those individuals having power to get laws like the Patriot Act, ACTA, ProtectIP (now E-PARASITES), Homeland Security, TSA, and other laws and organizations that destroy civil liberties passed because they can buy influence for their desires even when it's in contradiction to the general public's.
As I said in my tweet, I love capitalism in it's true form, however I think we're quickly moving into a plutocracy where cronyism has the same circle of friends and family keeping the money. The fact that when institutions are called "too big to fail" and require a bailout from Americans can then go and reposes the homes and property of those who bailed them out, something is wrong.
We all used to grow together, now the divide is quite obvious. Click to enlarge
I'm not sure exactly what the solution is. I don't want a "Robinhood tax" where money is taken from the top and given to the bottom because then that will increase the sense of entitlement. I'd prefer the 1% as they're called themselves realize they are the fortunate few and create basically a private version of the CCC camps that existed during the great depression, only to fix the infrastructure that is failing (if they won't step up I guess they would have to be taxed to fund these.) This would solve the unemployment, failing infrastructure and get money flowing all at once. As much as I prefer little government that stays out of the way, I think we need more regulations on how much CEO's can make (including stock options, bonus' and any other benefits) and what can be done by companies (since we can't put them in jail if they do wrong, they can't be punished like a person, so they shouldn't get the benefits of a person, no more political contributions by companies either.)
I also don't think ANYONE in this country should go without paying taxes, because then they have nothing invested in making the country better, again the sense of entitlement becomes too strong. Along the same lines I don't think just because you are doing well you should pay a higher tax, it is your money. If I were given my way I'd abolish all income tax and have a sales tax on non-essential (HEALTHY) goods. Food would be taxed on a sliding scale with healthier foods low or no tax where as pop and chips taxed at the same rate as say a car. This sales tax would encourage more frugal living and hopefully make people think before they take on additional debt.
This post got more into trying to fix the problems than I really wanted, but I'm going to put it up. I'm a firm believer in don't point out problems unless you have solutions, these are mine for the problems as I see them. I have a good job, a home, and while I don't live extravagantly, I think my family is comfortable. I'm not support #OWS for myself, but for my son that the country will still be great when he is my age.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Married to Hate
A high school classmate of mine recently committed to the love of her life. Unfortunately for them, since that love is also a woman the state of Wisconsin decided not to allow them to get married. Instead these two celebrated a Domestic Partnership.
Not only can Stephanie and Alyschia not get married in Wisconsin, but Wisconsin is one of only two states (Delaware is the other) that makes it illegal for them to get married in another state to bypass their state of residences marriage laws. Under 765.30(1)(a) of the Wisconsin Code, if these two lovely ladies decided to go to Iowa and get married, if they decided to continue living in Wisconsin, the state would not only ignore their legally obtained marriage certificate, but could also choose to fine them (each) $10,000 and put them in jail for 9 months.
People that are against gay marriage are on the same side of history as those that opposed interracial marriage, desegregation of school, and anti-suffrage movements. Hate always loses in the end.
I have yet to hear an argument against gay marriage that doesn't center around religion. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but when your beliefs start to impinge on others, that's when I have a problem with it.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
New Facebook
NOTE: If you're reading this post on Facebook, it is copied automatically from my blog at Down The Digital Trail some things I'd censor more on Facebook may be said less diplomatically because my blog is where I vent.
Everyone today has been bitching about the changes to Facebook and comparing it to Microsoft. Don't get me wrong, I despise Microsoft's business practices, and most everything they do, but this isn't a fair comparison when you look at their business and customer base.
The end user is MS's customer. They have to keep the end user in mind at all times when they make changes to their products. If a user doesn't like a change and decides to stop buying Microsoft products, or computers with MS products on them, MS stops getting money.
Alternately end users are a commodity for Facebook (and Google). Their business is to collect data their users enter through various channels and sell it to other companies either for market research, direct advertising, or for other reasons. If any and all changes FB makes are getting you to put in more data, and more valuable data for their customers. If making a change causes them to sacrifice a small number of users, but allows them to get more valuable data, it's a net win for them. (Yes I am aware there is a point where they could have too small a number of users to be valuable to their customers, but we're no where NEAR that threshold.)
This post isn't to tell people to stop complaining, or just roll over and "enjoy it" if you don't like the changes, by all means speak with your digital feet and go somewhere else. However, you have to know what the business of the service you're using is, and weigh the benefits you get out of the service against the sale of your data and the way they collect it.
Instead of comparing FB to MS, a better company to compare them to would be a TV station. They sell ads, and they gather data in the form of ratings to say what your watching, and what you buy. If a show isn't generating ads, or getting the viewers the advertisers on that show want, the station must, and will change the show.
Monday, July 25, 2011
What is Google+
Note: for those reading this on Facebook, I have a link in FB that automatically copies any and ALL blog posts over to FB notes, this includes technical, personal, funny , geeky whatever. If you’d rather not see my blog posts in your feed let me know and I can specifically block you from seeing just the notes. Here's a link to my blog if you'd rather read over there.
OK, by now if you spend any time on-line you know that Google just rolled out Google+. But what is it, and do you need it?
Google+ is basically Google's (3rd) attempt at creating a social network (basically Google's Facebook.)
In my opinion it's a better version of Facebook. You can put your friends in "circles" (and a friend can be in more than one circle) and then you can post status updates to specific circles. So if I want to make a geeky Linux related post that I know my Aunt couldn't care two rips about I could post it to my geek circle and not my family circle.
While the circles are good at letting you target who is seeing what, I do worry that this will create social insulation for some. My Mother for example may think that I have no social life if all I do is post about my son, when really she's just in my family circle and not seeing the posts about the drunken debauchery that I get into every weekend....
I've also been asked about the privacy issue. Facebook is known for being less than stellar about your privacy, and while the circles at least give the illusion of letting you keep messages to a private circle, remember that Google is in the business of gathering and categorizing data. Everything you post in Google+ is ultimately going to be used to target ads to you. Google has a fairly strong history of anonymizing data, but remember they already know where you are if you use an Android cell phone, have all your e-mail if you use Gmail, know what you're looking up if you use them for search, know what you look like if you use Picasa and so forth and so on.
Google+ has a very nice app, as you'd expect, on Android phones (that's all I have access too, no idea what it's like on the iphone) but I tend to use it mostly on my computer. I found a great plug-in for my chrome browser called Google+ Ultimate that lets me bring my twitter and Facebook feeds within G+, giving me a central location for all my social networks (although private FB mail can't be viewed through it, yet)
All that being said, I think this will ultimately be THE social network everyone uses. After all it's google, their mission statement is "Do no Evil" how can you go wrong with that?
That said if you want an invite to Google+ let me know what e-mail address to send it to.
OK, by now if you spend any time on-line you know that Google just rolled out Google+. But what is it, and do you need it?
Google+ is basically Google's (3rd) attempt at creating a social network (basically Google's Facebook.)
In my opinion it's a better version of Facebook. You can put your friends in "circles" (and a friend can be in more than one circle) and then you can post status updates to specific circles. So if I want to make a geeky Linux related post that I know my Aunt couldn't care two rips about I could post it to my geek circle and not my family circle.
While the circles are good at letting you target who is seeing what, I do worry that this will create social insulation for some. My Mother for example may think that I have no social life if all I do is post about my son, when really she's just in my family circle and not seeing the posts about the drunken debauchery that I get into every weekend....
I've also been asked about the privacy issue. Facebook is known for being less than stellar about your privacy, and while the circles at least give the illusion of letting you keep messages to a private circle, remember that Google is in the business of gathering and categorizing data. Everything you post in Google+ is ultimately going to be used to target ads to you. Google has a fairly strong history of anonymizing data, but remember they already know where you are if you use an Android cell phone, have all your e-mail if you use Gmail, know what you're looking up if you use them for search, know what you look like if you use Picasa and so forth and so on.
Google+ has a very nice app, as you'd expect, on Android phones (that's all I have access too, no idea what it's like on the iphone) but I tend to use it mostly on my computer. I found a great plug-in for my chrome browser called Google+ Ultimate that lets me bring my twitter and Facebook feeds within G+, giving me a central location for all my social networks (although private FB mail can't be viewed through it, yet)
All that being said, I think this will ultimately be THE social network everyone uses. After all it's google, their mission statement is "Do no Evil" how can you go wrong with that?
That said if you want an invite to Google+ let me know what e-mail address to send it to.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Needing advice
Note: for those reading this on Facebook, I have a link in FB that automatically copies any and ALL blog posts over to FB notes, this includes technical, personal, funny , geeky whatever. If you’d rather not see my blog posts in your feed let me know and I can specifically block you from seeing just the notes. Here's a link to my blog if you'd rather read over there.
OK this happened a lot sooner than I was expecting and I need advice. Alex and I were driving back from somewhere and he asked me if God and Jesus were real. I've made it fairly obvious my stance on these issues recently, but I do want to try to raise him to share the same faith as Heather, at least until he is old enough to make the choice for himself.
I tried to avoid the question and basically said that lots of people believe they are, and I told him that Jesus lived a long time ago. I wasn't prepared this time, and I want to be next time. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Follow-up to my coming out of the closet (as an Atheist)
Note: for those reading this on Facebook, I have a link in FB that automatically copies any and ALL blog posts over to FB notes, this includes technical, personal, funny , geeky whatever. If you’d rather not see my blog posts in your feed let me know and I can specifically block you from seeing just the notes.
Recently a few people have expressed concern because I was talking more about my atheism and they worried that I might upset my brother, or that I was basically being like a petulant teenager and lashing out against religion to get attention since he was going the other way. That’s not the case, this posting is going to be my reaction to those comments, and maybe a way to explain myself better than I have previously.
I obviously was raised in a religiously divided home, my mother was Roman Catholic, and my father always stated his dogtags said NRP (No Religious Preference). Dad didn’t dislike religion, in fact he encouraged Adam and I to try and embrace it, so that we had the added strength to fallback upon. However, honestly as far back as I can remember I questioned religion and what I was taught in Sunday school and CCD. I tried to be the good church going boy to please the family, I even was an alter boy a few times, but it just never stuck for me.
In High School and some college I started to branch out and explore other religions, I went to church with a few different friends and family, including Lutherans, Mormon’s, and Jewish services. I read a number of religious tombs cover to cover including the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Quran, and a number of Zen (Buddhism) texts. During this time I also started to get more serious with Heather, and going to church (Catholic, same church I went to as a child) with her mostly because it was another way to spend time with her. It also didn’t hurt that it helped me get in good graces with her mom (Hi Marilyn.) Nothing seemed to feel like more than nice stories to me, nothing had a ring of truth.
Heather and I had a number of talks, and like my father, I decided that I had no religious preference (at the time I was calling myself Agnostic with Catholic leanings) but that I wanted to try and raise any children we had together Catholic so they could gain the strength and support that I’ve seen others get from faith.
Somewhere between there and last Summer I slipped from Agnostic to Atheist, but I didn’t voice it much simply because I was still unsure of myself when it came to this topic (look how often I’d changed) and because I didn’t want to hurt those close to me.
However when Adam joined the Seminary I started to really question my faith, and wonder, since others are so proud of what they believe, and if this truly IS what I believe than why should I have any more shame for my beliefs, or hide them any more than those with faith who claim something different?
I am not the type of Atheist who feels I must disprove religion to everyone else. I still hope Alex grows up and into SOME form of faith. If it’s Catholic great, if it’s Buddhist great, if he becomes at least the 3rd generation of James males without faith so be it, he’s my son and I’ll love him if he decides he wants to worship a tomato plant.
All this said, I still consider myself open minded. If as Adam puts it, I get touched by God tomorrow, then I’ll take religion more to heart and embrace faith. I will always respect the good that religions of the world do, while shaking my head at the destruction done in their names. I will always respect and defend others rights to their beliefs, all I ask is that you respect my beliefs. I won’t try to convert you if you don’t try to convert me, deal?
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