Pain has no hold over me

"Do you still have pain?" This question has probably been asked of me more often by people who know me than any other in my life. You see I was born with Lumbar Schurman's Kyphosis which means that my spine and some odd curvatures in it (If you look at the spine from the side it's supposed to make an "S" shape, mine made a "C.")
For as long as I can remember I have had a sore back. At first my parent's thought I was imitating my father since he had a number of back problems from his days in the military. I finally convinced them when I was in 6th grade to take me in and that's when we found out I had LSK (my abbreviation, not a medical because I don't want to type the whole damned thing out again.) I went through a number of braces, therapies, and enough X-rays that I'm still surprised I don't glow in the dark. None of which worked for more than a short time. All the while the pain was getting worse and by the time I was in 8th grade I was in constant pain, some days better and some days worse.

In 2003 I had a spinal fusion with 2 12" titanium rods and 14 screws put in my back because I was in so much pain I could barely walk. I told the surgeon, and I wasn't being melodramatic, that if I was paralyzed from the surgery but the pain was reduced by 10% I would consider it a success. The pain has probably been reduced closer to 60% and I'm still walking, and rolling around on the floor with my son.

However yes, I still have pain, constantly. Not only in my back, but also my knees where I took so much extra shock to try to avoid taking it in my back over the years. However while I may grimace or complain about the pain, it doesn't really bother me as much as it used to. There were times before my surgery and earlier that the pain caused a vicious cycle of depression, which lead to more pain. I don't get those so much any more. This isn't because I'm tougher than I was, it's because I have a new outlook on pain.

I've learned to look at what pain has brought me in my life, which is more good than bad:

• It wasn't my pain, but my wonderful wife went through hours of pain to which the end result was our beautiful son.
• My back surgery was just a few short months after my wife and I were married. I got to know her far better during that time than if I hadn't spent 3 months recovering and stuck at home.
• The pain in school left me on the outside of a lot of social circles looking in because I couldn't do a sport, or had to wear a brace. This taught me to rely on myself and allowed me to make the friends who I did have, one of which became my wife.
• Because I was in pain I spent more time sitting at a computer than playing sports. This has lead me to a hobby and career that I love, I may never be wealthy doing it, but I enjoy going to work every morning.
  

I don't welcome pain anymore than anyone else. If I can I avoid it just like any sane person. But the pain I do have is mine and it keeps me going. Look at all the wonderful things it's given me so far. I can't wait to see what else I accomplish despite it.

I don't write this entry to say "YEA ME! look what I overcame" but in the hopes of helping someone else who is suffering from chronic pain. Yes it hurts, yes there are times you would give anything, including your ability to walk, to make it go away. But there are better times ahead. People will be cruel, but looking back, a lot of those people are in places I wouldn't want to be now.

I declare myself a whore

Today I announce I'm a whore.

I've decided that since Microsoft assumes all of their customers are criminals until the customer proves they aren't I'm doing the same. No longer will I be giving out knowledge for free, I'm a professional. To everyone who has relied upon me for Windows advice, the free ride is over. I'll still be happy to help you, but it will now cost you $20 an hour. There are no exceptions, sorry Mom, Adam, Dad, Steve, etc. I'm done supporting your habit of reinstalling an the exact same Operating System that was giving you trouble before without compensation.

I know this seems either self-centered or greedy, or both, however I've told each of you numerous times that Linux will do what you want/need it to do, is free, doesn't get virus', is more secure, and is generally faster. Yet like an addict you go back to your drug of choice. For those that even try by using dual-boot between Linux and Windows, you get free help because you're trying. I'll still support hardware issues such as a RAM upgrade, but as soon as I need to change ANYTHING in the OS is when the meter starts running.

Am I wrong for doing this? Leave a comment if you think I'm a cold-hearted bastard or I'm right on the money.

Manual Voting: I can't quit you

I'm a geek. For those who know me personally this will be viewed as a drastic under-statement. I work in the IT sector, I run Linux instead of windows, I've been known to debate who was better Picard or Kirk (Picard,) I still have all my old D&D dice, etc etc etc.

Because of this most people are rather shocked that I refuse to use electronic voting machines. Their like a really slow video game, you put an X by someones name, and then wait FOREVER to see who won. The problem is the technology isn't mature enough to trust in one of the most important things we as citizens do for out country.

These machines provide no paper trail for the voter to verify the recorded vote matches their choices or for officials to go back to, so if a recount is ever needed (I'm looking at you Florida) there is no way to do it on these machines. Also in most models of these machines they have no battery backup, so if the power goes out 3/4 of the way through election day, well sorry everyone who voted this morning, we'll catch you next time round.

Additionally these machines appear to be going on sleepovers. They also seem to have some calibration issues but don't worry, it's easy for anyone to recalibrate them.

Lastly, these devices are all closed source, meaning that nobody except those at the company that created them is able to know exactly what is happening in there. I'm not accusing anyone of this, but hypothetically how would you know if the machine you were voting on is counting every vote for a member of party A twice and only once for members of party B not by a bug but because of programming put in at the factory? If the source-code were released every programmer on the planet could look at the code, make sure it was doing what it was supposed to , and possibly suggest fixes for the problems listed above, since the manufacturers can't seem to be bothered.

Qualified to be President?

Correction: edited in 7:49 am 11/7/08: DOH! Sure I did research on President elect Obama's birth and came across the interesting tidbits about requirements to be a US citizen, and that he didn't meet them. However it seems that I missed a line in my reading that stated that those qualifications only counted for children of a US citizen who was born OUTSIDE the US. President-elect Obama was born in Hawaii 2 years after it became a state so even if neither of his parents were citizens and arrived while his mother was in labor he would have been a US citizen. End correction.



I'm surprised no one has brought this up yet, but in doing some research for my last entry I came across a few interesting facts.

First that to be qualified to be President of the United States you have to be a Natural-born citizen.

Second, from my research (and I could/probably am wrong) President Elect Obama isn't a Natural-born citizen, he's a naturalized citizen.

According to Findlaw.com from Dec 24, 1952 until Nov 13, 1986, which encompass the time that Obama was born, "If only one parent was a U.S. citizen at the time of your birth, that parent must have resided in the United States for at least 10 years, at least five of which had to be after the age of 16." After Nov 13, 1986 anyone born on US shores who's parents requested it was considered to hold dual-citizenship as their parents country and the USA. I've not found anywhere that states this was made retroactive.

Obama's father has never been a citizen of the USA and his mother was 18 when Barrack was born. This means that Obama couldn't be considered a natural born citizen because his mother wasn't 21 (16 + 5 = 21) the minimum age a mother can give birth to a citizen, thus preventing him from being a legal candidate for the Presidential office. This is also what has prevented the current Governor of CA from running for the office.

Let me make it clear, I don't want to escape President-Elect Obama on a technicality, but if it was unconstitutional for him to run and he ran anyway what is he going to do for illegal immigrants who started their life in America by breaking the law?

Dr. King's Dream still unrealized

We've all heard the line: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. " by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Unfortunately watching the reaction to our Nations recent Presidential election this dream is still unrealized despite what the news channels would have you believe. I believe every broadcast I've seen has talked about President Elect Obama being the first African-American President as if the color of his skin will change how he leads. I'm sorry but I disagree, there are far more important differences than any previous president. An example is he's the first president who was born outside the continental US (he was born in Hawaii.) He's also the first President to spend a significant amount of his primary school years in a foreign country.

The first of these two may have very little effect but the second could be huge. I'm not sure if it will be for good or ill since I have a very low opinion of the US education system in general, but wonder if someone educated under a different values system at a very young age can really connect with the majority of Americans moral philosophy at some very core points.

I've never hidden the fact that I supported John McCain in the election not because I was a fan of his but because Barack Obama scares me with his Socialistic tenancies and extremist associates. Who you're friends with says a lot of the content of your character and I for one am going to judge President Obama on his character rather than his color.

Pledge to the next President

(Note: this was copied from Facebook and originally published 11/4/2008 at 5:34 pm CST)

It's 5:30 pm CST on election day I have no idea weather I'm writing this to John McCain or Barrack Obama, in all honesty it doesn't matter.



I pledge that no matter who is in the Oval Office, weather I agree or disagree with their policies I will always treat the office, and the person holding it with respect. I may not respect the man as an individual but I have, and always had the utmost respect for what that office represents.



In the past 8 years a lot of people (American and world wide) have trashed the office because they disrespect the present occupant. You can strongly disagree with the policies without disrespecting the office.



This is my Pledge, I will always respect the office, and respectfully disagree with policies I feel are wrong. Who will make the same pledge?

Introduction

I've put off creating a personal blog (I have one for my Digital Bootstraps project) because I didn't thing I would have anything to say that would be interesting enough for people to read, and comment on. Also while I find the things my cats do interesting I doubt most others would.

However this recently changed. I recently got drug kicking and screaming into Facebook by a friend so that I could keep in contact with a few people I went to High School with. During the Presidential election I wrote a couple of notes that got good responses and I enjoyed the debate that ensued.

I'm not exactly sure where this blog is going to go. I'm going to write about whatever interests me. For the most part that's my family, computers, politics, books, and history (specifically the American Civil War, and WWII) with a smattering of other geek culture thrown in for good measure.

Read or don't, subscribe or don't, it truly makes little difference to me as this is going to become an outlet for me to say what I feel so that I can watch how I grow and change over time. As most people do I feel I'm fairly open minded. If something disproves my beliefs I'll re-evaluate and change them.

I have a couple of notes on Facebook that I will probably copy over and will tag them as FACEBOOK in the interest of achieving them all in one spot, those that are no longer relevant due to the outcome of the election won't move.

Let the journey begin.

-B